R A Card

R A Card is the editor of Blazes Press and a contributor to the New England Journal of Public Policy, Alaska Magazine, Omphalos Quarterly and numerous other publications.

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IN MY YOUNGER AND MORE VULNERABLE YEARS

A brief history of being young & adrift in 80s New York.

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In my young twenties I moved to Brooklyn. At the time moving to Brooklyn was a ritual experience for many young people, like moving to Paris between the world wars must have been, I suppose, or Los Angeles would be for certain cultural adventurers in the 2010s. It was the 80s, before New York became a fairytale mecca, and along with discovering yourself you could also discover multi-chambered LIRR stations with long- shuttered coffee and flower shops, shoe-shine stations, or you could take the train into Times Square and experience the smug seediness of the genuine article, and claim to be living an outré, bohemian life. You could, in other words, still live in relative comfort for not too much money, provided your requirements for comfort entailed no more than an occasional slice of pizza or a few beers on the weekend.

My roommate and I lived quite shabbily in a one-bedroom off DeKalb with a backyard garden we neglected, and a heater that inexplicably turned off on weekends, as if anticipating that we were going to be away in Vermont or the Hamptons, which of course we never were. On all sides, our neighborhood was hemmed in by other neighborhoods where drug deals went down and people were occasionally murdered in rank, dispirited walk-ups. But our street and two or three that ran parallel to ours were shaded with ancient oaks and London Plain trees, there was a park nearby where we would play tennis, and I would run, doing endless loops on a hard-packed path. It had once been solidly middle class but was between prosperous periods now.

Next to our apartment building was a grand abandoned hotel with a marble staircase more or less intact. Sometimes my roommate and I scaled the rusted-out fire escape between the buildings to the fourth story to get inside. You had to stretch your body its full extent and jerk through an open window, a foolhardy move that could have resulted in catastrophe. But once in, you had free rein. Everywhere was debris, horsehair plaster, broken glass, wet slabs of cardboard, wreckage we pawed through in search of some kind of glittering souvenirs. I don’t recall ever discovering anything of value or interest but it was just as well; material evidence of our adventures was superfluous. Phantoms always exerted the most powerful psychic force on me. I’d come to Brooklyn to commune with the likes of Hart Crane and Walt Whitman, who I imagined hovering among the wharfs and printing rooms and ale houses. I wanted to merge with intangible presences, impressing centuries’ of layered ghosts into the crannies of the novel I was writing.

To make ends meet, my roommate got a job with a company that collated dossiers on big businesses. Pretty soon he was making a halfway decent salary. For my part, I was barely keeping alive, financially speaking. I had a couple jobs, one teaching English part-time at a yeshiva, another as a ticket taker at a Manhattan cinema that no longer exists. I often borrowed money from him to cover the rent, and paid him back a few weeks later. A cycle as futile as it was routine. I was forever in small debt to him; and he was forever being outwardly tolerant of the situation. His bed was in the apartment’s only bedroom, mine was in the living room, an arrangement that didn’t seem to cause as much debate or grief as one had a right to expect. We’d been friends in college, and were used to each other, no doubt, and instinctively knew to defer to each other’s claim to the kitchen or the demoralized blue couch he’d brought to the apartment—a luxury, if you could call it that, that made me feel so grown up. Until that time, I hadn’t been acquainted with anyone my age who owned living room furniture.

My roommate was an actor, often away on auditions or seeing plays. Most every free minute I wrote. My novel, about a Confederate soldier, Thomas Leroix, who’d ended up in Kansas after the war, trying to make peace with his memories, was progressing at a steady pace. I’d traveled a fair bit in the South, enough, so I assumed, to unflinchingly assimilate the magnolia-scented horrors of its past into the pages of the book.

Nowadays manuscripts, I assume, are released into existence as if summoned from a hushed electronic ether (in fact I’m writing this on a laptop), no more tactile than a passing thought, but then I typed on an electric typewriter. And the once-ubiquitous sound of typewriters—the commiserative hum of electric motors, the stored words tumbling forward in a clacking barrage—elicits in me now a keening nostalgia for sitting at what passed as our dining room table, as Brooklyn nights gathered outside. Doubtless typing wasn’t so romantic to my roommate when he was home watching Barney Miller behind the closed bedroom door, smoking the sample cigarettes they gave out in the street then to keep you hooked or get you started. Sometimes it woke him up in the middle of the night, and I’d whisper apologies through his door. I spent hardly any time on the lesson plans, trying to squeeze in as much time writing as possible. But thus did the strange novel grow, astonishingly, page upon page compounding upon our dining table.

New York City, 1980.

I was, of course, eager to get out of the apartment too. I’d take the subway—and, appeasing ever-shifting exigencies of time and money, seldom paid the fare. I’ll admit to feeling some niggling shame, but a subway token (emblem of an evergreen, irretrievable New York: brass-colored with a silver bullseye center) cost, if I recall, a dollar, not nothing for someone in my position. So I became adept at hopping turnstiles, perfecting a means of slipping through the gates undetected by the station attendants, who presided in their bulletproof glass booths like abbots in their personal refectories. It was thrilling to be able to get around the city for free, riding to the far-flung polarities of Rockaway, Sheepshead Bay, Pelham Bay Park, as if under new-found power. Unbound from my desk, I’d explore regions of the city so far-flung it was quite possible that denizens of one section had no more idea of the existence of the other than South Seas islanders had of emirs of the Ottoman Empire. In warmer weather, I’d bicycle through Prospect Park, sucking in exhaust fumes. Nights speeding down Flatbush, Bedford Avenue, where Ebbetts Field used to stand, past check cashing and pizza joints, Dirty Bud’s Recovery Room, the original Juniors, which staked out the corner of Dekalb and Flatbush like an extravagant, generous-hearted hooker—a thrilling manumission, an avowal of the untempered joy that seized my body, as when I learned to ride on the tar-and-gravel streets of the Boston suburbs of my boyhood. Sometimes I’d run along the pedestrian walk on the Brooklyn Bridge, one of the most dazzling spectacles in the country, gazing out at the Liberty Statue, the Twin Towers, and down at the gray river coursing out to sea. In awe of such moments, one felt genuine patriotism and pride in a country in which it wasn’t always easy to lay claim to such unfashionable feelings.

To be poor in New York is to be forever looking in at a rarefied and glittering bubble, a gilded shelter; but the vantage of the poor can sometimes afford the greater prospect, I like to think: the perspective of a threadbare god. The booth of the movie theater where I worked faced 7th Avenue; from this angle a ticket seller would look out at the steady procession of pedestrians strolling by, some of whom would stop and talk to us through the intercom. The wealthy, the destitute, the lost… the intercom amplified their voices over the street’s jabber and strife, as if petitioning a convenient deity. One guy, a regular, a small conspiratorial man in a suit jacket three times too big for him and his few remaining teeth situated far back in his mouth, had been, he said, a trumpeter in a famous jazz combo decades ago. Hard times had befallen him, he didn’t have to say. He’d regale us with stories of long-defunct jazz clubs, Chet Baker, Ellington. Then you’d see him around town sometimes, telling the same stories to people who could turn their backs to him.

A coworker of mine, the son of an actor you’d recognize from tv and a few movies, was always bowled over at characters like this. He’d grown up in New York, presumably, but for some reason the New York scenes and characters he must have been around since birth remained forever novel, his capacity for astonishment perennially refreshed. Look at that guy, he’d say, clamping his forehead with his hand. Can you believe it? Over and over again. Look at that guy. He was right, of course. There were characters in New York. There were always people of all kinds to look at. One night after the movie had been playing a while, Bob Dylan came in with Merry Clayton, the singer of the indelible Rape, murder… line in the Rolling Stones’ Gimme Shelter. Dylan must have been in a down phase, musically speaking; he looked like he was trying to keep up, fashion-wise.

Still, there are few people more universally Dylan-like than Dylan; and in the middle of the movie he wandered into the lobby, his eyes even in repose had a wary, quicksilver flash of a fox’s with a chicken in its jaws. I thought to say something to him, talk to him like I was talking through the window in the ticket booth, but didn’t see the point.

Everything you had to know about him, I figured, you already got from the songs and the cowboy boots he was wearing. Before the movie finished, he and Merry Clayton slipped out. Susan Sontag, Bill Murray, other music and literature and movie people also came in sometimes, but my life was peripheral to all that then, it was starting out on its own course, and would, I hope, find its way too.

My boss at the cinema later became a pretty well-known film critic. The two of us would go together to broken-down theaters near Times Square, the Upper West Side and the Village. They smelled in those days, universally, of dereliction and pee, and showed scratched-up prints of old John Wayne westerns, Bergman, the standard Fassbinder or Goddard or Buñuel repertory. The ticket takers, seen-it-all boys my age, or gray Beat eminences, ran fingers down their lists before admitting us. In one such palace, around 42nd Street, a glum joint that sometimes screened porn, we watched a movie that was to become a personal favorite. The Last Picture Show. If you haven’t seen it, do. The Last Picture Show (1971) yielded a thousand vicarious thrills, mostly to do with the romance of watching lives decompose in a simulacrum of real time. On the screen, the textured Texas wastelands, on the periphery of civilization, showed an America forever endangered, intended to be plowed under. It was in The Last Picture Show that I heard Hank Williams for the first time, singing “I Can’t Help It If I’m Still In Love With You” as if from a new grave. In Picture Show’s landscape, doors were always rattling on loose hinges. Tumbleweeds cartwheeled in dust-blown streets. In one scene, arguably one of the most affecting in the history of American cinema, a gym teacher’s wife (Cloris Leachman) confronts her high-school age lover (Timothy Bottoms), who scarcely knows how or where his decency got lost. His eyes hold out hope for redemption he knows can’t be given. Hers is a quintessentially and exclusively American face, like one in a Walker Evans picture, its frayed edges abounding in patriotism. Hurling a coffee pot against a wall, Cloris herself abounds in gestures of love and regret. We wait. Wracked. Rooting for her but thinking, too late, too late. Hank Williams sings. A boy is killed—a narrative jolt that feels precisely right in its recognition that life owes nothing. The lights of the theater come up. We stretch our legs and leave. Outside a glorious spring afternoon. New York suddenly seems small, provincial, its bluster something disagreeable and gratuitous.

I stayed in New York a few months after that. I took another part-time job, tutoring a student on the Upper East Side. It was almost summer, a few nights a week I hopped the Lexington line to an apartment on York and the 90s, where I tutored the girl in English and history; but after a while it became apparent that the tutoring agency that had hired me was a con, I hadn’t received a single check. I left messages that weren’t returned, and ended up in court with a bunch of other duped tutors. The defendant didn’t show, of course; we tutors, having won our case, departed the courtroom single file, having spent yet another day chasing paychecks we knew we’d never get. It didn’t matter. It felt like New York was drifting away, its demonstrations familiar, its conclusions forgone. Since coming here, I’d adored the bleak dispirited cinemas, streets sweetly nourished by perfumes of uptown matrons. But the time was coming. The city had grown wary of sustaining the ambitions it had cultivated in the young people who’d come to it. Notice was being given—local scrip would no longer be redeemable.

Later, after the school year had worn to a close and the yeshiva students all went off to lives they’d be living thereafter, I quit both jobs. I left my roommate to keep the apartment for himself and took a Greyhound cross-country, to California, then flew to Hawaii. I’d only the vaguest plans, but the idea of getting a job somewhere in the tropical line offered the least resistance to castaway fantasies I’d semi-nursed since watching Swiss Family Robinson on tv as a kid. Eventually I got hired by a scuba and fishing shop on a harbor on the outskirts of Kailua-Kona, on the Big Island. South Pacific trades wafted from the ocean, criss-crossing lava fields and a too-ambitious parking lot that belonged to the strip-mallish conglomeration of buildings where I worked. Here I could write for long stretches, interrupted only by the few straggling tourists looking for recommendations on tuna and marlin rigs or cheap snorkel gear for the kids.

My novel of Thomas Leroix, the disaffected Confederate creature, was almost a thousand pages by this time. But still no closer to being finished, I was afraid. We’d been together, the obsessive, reclusive Leroix and I, two or three years, I was his eager valet, carrying his hat and dueling pistols. Responsible for his dinners and despairs. We’d both managed to find ourselves in unexpected precincts—him in Kansas, me in Kona—looking for denouement. In my Ali’i Drive apartment, geckos scaled the screens like mountain climbers, munching palmetto bugs, and I woke no roommate, disturbed no lovers in adjoining rooms. Only the nocturnal geckos were there to regard me—their skeptical eyes and chops that would have munched me too if they could.

Tropical nights, fragrant of banana plants, oceans, night-blooming jasmine, came and went in splendid uniformity. It rained only at night, so it seemed, great sky-cleansing tempests hammering the tin roofs of nearby houses. Then the mornings reposed in rainless luxury, the lava fields dried before the sun was fully risen. New York, half a world away, never did exist in Kailua-Kona’s consciousness, I thought. The islands were geological in reasoning, massive active volcanos plunging seven thousand feet to the bottom of the Pacific, and pressed no immediate demands upon a writer, culturally speaking, as Brooklyn had. The images I was trying to summon—the Civil War’s splurge of carnage, Thomas Leroix’s regiment trudging along a mountain ridge, half-buried corpses exposed by the rain—had no analog in the lava and banyan and coconut palms.

Stranded upon a shore far from the East River, staring out to another sea, I could work with little mental interruption. “God keep me from ever completing anything,” says Ishmael/Melville in Moby-Dick. “This whole book is but a draught – nay, but the draught of a draught. Oh, Time, Strength, Cash, and Patience!” Aye, but the least one is ever offered is a draft of a life, a draft of a draft, before the words drift away upon the trades.

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A Girl, A Guy, A Gun

Bonnie Parker was nineteen years old and had been married four years when she met Clyde Barrow in the winter of 1930. Together Bonnie and Clyde killed at least thirteen people before they were ambushed in Bienville Parish, Louisiana, in the spring of 34, their Ford Deluxe V-8 perforated with 167 bullet holes.

Art by Zoe Grieze

Remember, out by Cement City, river banks behind grandma’s shack, canebreaks coming up the yard. Hand-to-hand. Three. One— Two— No shoes, one Texas sock, cartwheeled wrinkles from the day. Tongue cross her teeth, cotton candy between. In car window she grins. Incisors pink-tinctured. Boys. Always. Looking her over, eyes thought they owned her, eyes saying, Hey there, back seat’s open, like she has no brains. B+s in English. Best subjunior speller 1922. She married the guy anyway. Guy the five-and-dime that time. Narrow shoulders. Tooth missing—grin useless as a broken watch. Pocketed a bottle of hair cream, witnessed with her own two eyes, whistled like he found a hundred bucks back of a rented car. Liked to take her places, he did, slipped a charm bracelet on her wrist, zirconium heart and little dog and dice. Sixteen’s young for a wife, she knows, lots she knows.

Going to CCHS a married woman, living with him, his bed, sour jailhouse reek, whiskery status, afternoon striated spiteful red. Back of Jack’s Famous Billiards, the neon sign, his name pinched blue ink upon her thigh. Easy. Three letters: R-O-Y. Wild, she can be. Flashes it for school friends, shows off the ring.

Moonshine cast spells against his nature, grabbed her arm sometimes, like to snap in two. Designs of moons and planets flung amid the stars, she sprawls ground-bound, spinning comets into comets, gathering cosmoses to her skirts. A book she studies after school, states the different colors she imagines they might be. People of the different states working different jobs they do. Hammering. Offices. Farmers. Cops. Men in suits, shined shoes. She went to Oklahoma once, Mother took them on a splurge, Greyhound’s window cracked to flush the burdened air, breeze suggestion on her cheeks, strands of gold before her eyes. Air’s bluer places, you know—Oklahoma so blue that time she’d taken to spell of praying. The furious press of now—past as futures not yet taken.

To conceive of life is to feel some dying in touch of soles upon the crumbling tar. Remember taking orders at All-Day Ray’s, steak and eggs, toast and marmalade, BLT, she’d sell eggs to chickens, ice cubes to Eskimos, eyeful of her nylon bra, store-bought, whispers feathers off a peacock, Bill-Tom used to say. Bonnie, nametag on her blouse used to say. Sometimes Beth. Melissa. Harry. For a laugh. Foolin’ with people. Way she is. Used to be. They drive in fury, seeking and redemption, you’d think vacationers on a lark sometimes, could be. Way he drives in socks, she sets one foot out the window. Fitz Special in trousers waist. Browning Automatics in the trunk, 3000 rounds, magazines, cartridges, arsenal for a brigade. She styles her hair herself in motel sink, arm so twisted it’s like to break. Bobs it. Straights it. Perm. Claudette Colbert’s. Myrna Loy, she thinks. Rubs her face with Oriental Creme, toes beneath sheets curl like sleeping bishops. Going places, used to tell herself, Amelia Earhart, poet, Queen of East Texas clear to Permian Basin, rigs, shrimp boats, Little Mexico. Backyard of the old shack the Parkers live/ East Texas n’er forgive—she recites to herself, reminding. Some lives worn out from the living. Twenty-two, she is. An actress. Pretty enough, Roy used to tell her, eyes of Dallas men feasted on her like starveling urchins’, whistles in the trading district. Alone, she dresses slip and stockings, kisses the mirror, taste of glass, cool, like lips. Used to go to silents at the Kenner Palace, organ vibrations undulations of the sea. Then movies start talking, words she did too. Very sorry, Miss Gilfird isn’t in this evening, she wrote. Driving, for a moment she misses being polite without a reason.

Met this boy one day. By the Trinity. Funny voice, shooting pigeons, giggles at broken wings, plumed confetti in the river. Plays guitar. Starting a band, he says. Standards. Al Jolson. Rudy Vallee. His face’s like a little mutt. Adman’s tie’s a tongue. Scent of Burma-Shave. Took some cars one time, he says, took a ladder through window of a toy store. Do it again, get her a stuffed bear this time, he says. Walks barefoot on the riverbank, have to be rich to stroll so carelessly. Doesn’t look at her like others, like he can’t think of nothing but undressing her, listens untalking to her Hollywood talk, momentum taking her in its arms. Sunny Side of the Street, his voice sweetly. Louis Armstrong. Ted Weems. Hums along, voices braided. Tin cans, newspapers, child’s ball, stuff going downstream, under water, popping up. Bets her when stuff’s coming up again, shows a solid wad, twenties, ones beneath. Not counterfeit, he says. He ought to know, looks like. So what. She lets him, kiss, touching side of her face she gets used to before he’s done. Two fingers, then her lips. Sincerest she’s ever been—kissed—more than Roy or playground boys. Kisses her in earnest, newspapers fly as risen eagles, winged over cottonwood stands, campgrounds where the farmers tending hobo fires.

Sometimes silence settles. Takes its kindred place with stars’ reticence. Staring down highways, straight-as-light highways, misfit highways bent as crooked ladies. Does your husband / Misbehave / Grunt and grumble / Rant and rave / Shoot the brute some / Burma-Shave… Poetry everywhere. Poets of underground, Milton as roadside advertising bard. Bonnie Parker/ Born to light/Took left turn /Not the right. Oklahoma, Nebraska, Iowa, Louisiana, square-shouldered states in quandaries of conscience. One day she says to him, What’s living ever done for anyone? Mother used to take them to the revivals. Sitting on bench, under the scorching tent, preacher flapping and chairbound rising in ecstasy. Talk like that don’t suit Clyde. Tunes out, drives bent over, like trying to outpace the car. Never seen him shave, his body in motel bed smooth as a girl’s, way she touches him. It makes him cross, his mouth slicing across bottom of his face like Y in Roy.

Clyde farts when cops fall back, as if at them. Wastes a bullet on an armadillo. For fun, veers off, flattening a path through the cornstalks. How he is. Singing. Not as wild as he used to be, he says, like a petition, like they might, little farmhouse, poultry yard, dream of rocking chairs. Ha. He reads True Detective Mysteries, studying lingo, detective technique, in motel rooms. His schoolbooks. Guns on the floor in blameless beauty, oiled wood, intricate mechanism, the barrels. Pistol-grip shotgun. Hammerless Colt 32. There’s killing, but— Not real. Someone’s brother. A guy who. Are they killers, she says to him once. Doesn’t like to hear it either. Taking from some filling station. Banks. Can’t blame them, no money living way they do. Everyone feeds off ends of civilizations, he says. Gypsies, citizens like anyone, bad times, you see people along the roads, camping out. The times. A bank teller went for the alarm that time. Old man pulled a pistol. Think about it, What’d living ever do for them? Their bodies crumbled, twitched, frothed, more matter-of-fact than you think. Easy to die.

Radio plays that song Clyde likes, the Ford V8’s tenor in accompaniment. Its moment’s claim upon what can’t be sustained. Roads come up, sun breaks over corn like it wants to break your heart. World looks upside down, stars suspended, cartwheeling way she did.

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JOHN UPDIKE’S PEERLESS PROSE

Reconsidering the supreme stylist’s status in the canon.

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n September of 2013, the Library of America issued canonical editions of John Updike’s collected stories, adding to the slim stand-alone volume, Hub Fans Bid Kid Adieu, published three years earlier. Then in 2018 and 2020 respectively, the Library put out Updike’s novels (Selected Novels 59-65, and Selected Novels 68-75). With the exception of Hub Fans, of major American poets/writers in our lifetimes, John Ashbery, Phillip Roth, Saul Bellow, all had beat Updike in admission to the Library’s pantheon. Perhaps the omission was related to publishing rights or some other ungratifyingly arcane matter, but one might also have suspected a snub. Nevertheless, it is gratifying to find Updike, while celebrated in life as one of the most nuanced chroniclers of his generation, finally getting a seat at the afterlife-accredited writers table. Updike’s working life as a writer extended roughly from 1954, when he graduated Harvard College and his stories started appearing in the New Yorker, to the early twenty-first century, when the last novel, Terrorist, was published. Along the way came novels, stories, poetry, critical essays, personal reminiscences, incidental bits and pieces, in an unrelieved torrent, more words than a reader could possibly hope to keep up with in a lifetime of summer reading. For some, this was not a sign of a brilliant prolificness, but of post-war work ethic of a Pennsylvania autodidact, or a logorrheic pathology. Among prominent practitioners in the lit-crit business, David Foster Wallace, James Wood, Harold Bloom, had taken a rather dim view of Updike’s oeuvre. His facility, versatility, subject matter, were somehow signs of suspect gifts, like those of a speedy shortstop who hits fifteen or twenty home runs a season. Bloom included only Witches of Eastwick, surely a minor if popular novel, in his grab-bag compendium of canonization-worthy world literature, The Western Cannon, tacitly damning Updike with faint praise. Wood was even more dismissive. “If one is always blearily swimming towards the raison d’être of these stories, it is largely the prose which is slowing one’s passage. The sentences have an essayistic saunter; the language lifts itself up on pretty hydraulics, and hovers slightly above its subjects, generally a little too accomplished and a little too abstract.” Yet even as Updike’s immense powers inevitably tailed off (Terrorist is an attempt to graft the usual obsessions of sex and domestic roiling onto the contemporary scene, and almost every page has something clumsy and essentially witless in it), and exposed him as occasionally limited in emotional and thematic range, the true gift—of generosity, sly love, his canny aptitude at translating shapes and sounds to metaphor—remained, if you ask me, pulsating. Despite its essential miscalculation, in Terrorist we still encounter throwaway nuggets that approach prime Updike. “His grandfather had shed all religion in the New World, putting all faith in a revolutionized society, a world where the powerful could no longer rule through superstition, where food on the table, decent housing and shelter, replaced the untrustworthy promises of an unseen God.” It isn’t, as Wood suggests, dutiful prose, but a pulse that simultaneously contracts and expands through the prose like electric current. Updike’s bracing last poems, collected in Endpoint, are mostly shorn of fancy writing, and present lives that ignite and flare out in fractions of a second, the way lives do. The poems are existential missives, child-like in the declarative affection that animated his fiction at its best.

They’ve been in my fiction, both now dead,
Peggy just recently, long stricken (like
my grandma) with Parkinson’s disease.
But what a peppy knockout Peggy was!—
cheerleader, hockey star, May Queen, RN.
Pigtailed in kindergarten, she caught my mother’s
eye, but she was too much girl for me….

Dear friends of childhood, classmates, thank you,
scant hundred of you, for providing a
sufficiency of human types: beauty,
bully, hanger-on, natural,
twin, and fatso—

or, regarding his own life and posterity:

A life poured into words—apparent waste
intended to preserve the thing consumed.
For who, in that unthinkable future
when I am dead, will read?

Library of America has placed its bets that readers born in the latter twentieth and early twenty-first century will, finding sentences, characters, stories, worthy of their attention; that the ancient Protestant steeples, putting greens and suburbanites’ messy extra-marital couplings will continue to resonate in the America of, say, 2045.

The past recedes into a vanishing point. Some authors, almost before the body goes cold, are relegated to ash heaps of their time. I for one am frequently puzzled how readers of the mid-nineteenth century could have found much merit in the works of some of its most beloved writers. Longfellow, William Gilmore Simms, even Harriet Beecher Stowe seem to me tediously sentimental, superficial, possessing a sclerotic mannerliness that seldom transcends the prose conventions their own era. It can happen to the best of ‘em, I know. Recently I purchased Library of America’s edition of Henry James’ Notes of a Son and Brother, and A Small Boy and Others, which for decades had been available only in backroom library copies, or on the shelves of obsessive Jamesians. I worship the meticulously witnessed The Bostonians, Portrait of a Lady, Daisy Miller, and shorter tales (What Maisie Knew, Aspern Papers…), but struggled mightily to find a clear path into the late period James of A Small Boy. Its tics, throat clearings and genealogical obsessions seemed to coerce the reader into joining James in wandering the labyrinths of his own mind, or that of the amanuensis as he dictated in his cottage in Kent, with nary a helpful guide in sight. Likewise, one wonders if some of Updike’s novels might belong to the past’s un-resonant designs, the literary equivalent of a Dodge Dart, say: in the years between his graduation from Harvard and the post 9/11 collapse of politically heterogeneous but coherent-seeming America, Updike—increasingly, unfashionably, white, privileged, male—had become at risk of becoming an awkward counter to America’s twenty-first century polyglot growth spurt—not just in the academy but in popular imagination. His tales, like those of John Cheever or John O’Hara or Sinclair Lewis of earlier generations, might be read simply as the outrageous hijinks of a vanished tribe. Moreover, Updike’s fixations on the anatomical, his unrelieved male gaze, and tacit endorsement of social coherence over the wildly, vividly anarchic, were unfashionable even at their peak, as if he were the privileged passive recipient of all that 60s and 70s free love and protesting and cultural ferment, without himself bothering to make much contribution to it. Compared to, say, Mailer’s boisterous chronicling of his ramblings with Robert Lowell in midst of march on the Pentagon protests in The Armies of the Night, Updike’s tales of Joan and Richard Maple marching in a 60s Boston protest while their marriage dissolves, or his patronizing description of the African-American radical, Skeeter, in Rabbit Redux, as “finely made electric toy,” can be read as an enshrining of privileged liberal assumptions, valuing irony over earnestness, preserving the status quo through dabbling in radical chic.

Sometimes it’s hard to discern the line between Updike and his alter-egos. We’re not sure whose mind we’re in, or what side we’re supposed to take. When Rabbit declares, “‘I hate [taking the bus]… It stinks of Negroes,’” one wonders if one is supposed to reel in disgust at Rabbit’s casual racism, or nod in assent. Pleasure or pain can provoke —or barely elicit moral upheaval. When Jill Pendleton, the runaway teenager living with Rabbit and Skeeter, dies in a fire, it hardly registers an emotional tremor. A cop asks if she was a loved one, and Rabbit answers, “‘Not exactly.’” Her erotic value, her life, obliterated, Rabbit moves on. Her carnality may have been splendid, but once it’s gone, the memory leaves little emotional trace. One wonders if this is the chilly flip side of what David Foster Wallace meant when he claimed, “that for the young educated adults of the 60’s and 70’s, for whom the ultimate horror was the hypocritical conformity and repression of their own parents’ generation, Mr. Updike’s evocation of the libidinous self appeared redemptive and even heroic”?

It’s hardly Rabbit’s greatest moment, but Updike resists easy summing up, and Mr Wallace’s faint grumbling strikes one as an adolescent fantasy of tearing down daddy’s house. We root for Rabbit as a heroic figure, flawed but decent in a modern semi-corrupt way. Halfway decent people can be profound assholes. Assholes can have their little moments of redemption. But Updike often refuses to give easy ways out. In Couples, the Rabbit quartet, The Centaur, or a parcel of other novels and stories, Updike’s America never settles into convenient taxonomies. We have to do the work of separating the characters from the books. But—and this is what separates Updike from lesser mortals—in sentence after sentence, his prose enlists us in rapturous delight in the ongoing project of American democracy. Regardless of what you think of Rabbit’s boorishness, he shares with his creator a multi-sensorial observational quality, and his observations, filtered through a writerly consciousness, at least partly atone for a great appetitive, American-style sense of entitlement. As with Thoreau’s observations of the skirmishes of his beloved ants at Walden, we get a sense of Updike carefully superintending his characters’ behaviors, relishing them punching it out in a not-always accommodating world. In their corner, he nudges them onward.

It’s also worth noting that, although Updike’s books range in scope, geographically speaking, so many of his characters—the golfers, ministers, carpenters, professorial types, warlocks, car salesmen—toil in familiar Updike real estate: the cloistered suburbs of the Northeast. The suburbs often get a bad rap from denizens of urban, hipper precincts; but in Updike’s hands, they function as literary metaphor, and one of his more tantalizingly realized characters. Even suburban weather can be characteristic, signaling the presence of god, or a shadowed shabby-picturesque domestic doom: “Autumn is starting to show its underside: out of low clouds like a row of torn mattresses a gray rain is knocking the leaves off one of the trees. That lonely old maple behind the Chuck Wagon across Route 111.…” On these streets, we seek, along with the author, links between the dismal and sublime, the sacred and profane. Fallen or otherwise, such suburban paradises are the loci of eternal drama. Worn-in, worn-out lives often stir and peter out not in existential angst, but in a low-level worriedness. Sunny vistas contain essences of mortality: bodily disintegration is dissonantly unforeseen in the midst of the grassy, glitzy bounty.

Part of being a Big Man (perhaps less so, Woman) Writer is that you’re expected to be a colossus, not merely a reporter of the minutia of the passing parade. Melville, Mailer, Roth, Bellow, Faulkner, bestriding the empire, rip through whole towns and countries with insatiable appetites, their tomes rippling with Big Themes. “To produce a mighty book, you must choose a mighty theme,” Melville says. “No great and enduring volume can ever be written on the flea, though many there be who have tried it.” In his way Updike was indeed trying to write a mighty book on the flea, reporting minutia from the neighborhoods. As a would-be Big Man of American literature, however, his stature rests not upon a singular novel or two, but, like Balzac, upon a collected oeuvre spanning more than half a century. His individual books, with perhaps the exceptions of Rabbit is Rich or Rabbit at Rest, are not tour de forces, but carefully observed tableaus, sociologically and culturally engorged, bursting at the margins, but whaling trips are not undertaken, wars aren’t fought, there are no epic cross-country journeys of self-discovery. The Bigness comes from an accretion of detail that over fifty years develops into an American La Comédie humaine. Several years ago I reread the four Rabbit novels (and one short postscript included in Licks of Love, a short story collection) over the course of a couple months. I’d read all of them years before, but in a haphazard, rather casual manner. The experience of reading them in sequence, however, left me reeling: starting in 1960 with Rabbit, Run, Updike checked in with Rabbit roughly every decade, taking him from a young man who, like the post-high school hanger-on in Richard Linklatter’s in Dazed and Confused, dimly senses his own limitations, aware that he’s living a prolonged afterlife, but holds to it as long as he can because he knows, somewhere in his American soul, that that’s all his life has to offer, to an adulthood of some unexpected material and spiritual attainment, a self-indulgent but humbled oldster, hustling to keep up on a basketball court. Rabbit’s individual experiences are greater than their sum, as perhaps all of ours will be. He dreams, plots, feuds, parents disastrously, loves perhaps slightly less disastrously, plays some golf, hawks cars, goes somewhere but not where he intended. But the books are greater than their parts. To read them quickly is to witness the increments of a life, days accumulating as years, fads, fashions, politics, passing so quickly that you hardly recognize a summary is in the works.

Mr Wallace criticized Updike for his obsessions with sex and mortality, but these are the obsessions of the flesh—organic modalities with which we cling to existence. The usual bourgeois trappings (all those Chuck Wagons) may eventually eradicate the enduring maple, but in the meantime (that is, our existence) we find our way, coming to terms with tensions of earthly strife and strive. Updike’s shopping malls, beaches, afternoon football games, like James Agee’s hissing sprinklers on summer lawns, or Wallace Stevens’ “coffee and oranges in a sunny chair,” provided context from the Eisenhower administration through the Obama; it seems, however, a writer’s observational powers, like that of space telescopes, are trained upon a fixed quadrant of the sky. Writers serve their times and are served by them, and in their deaths take the era with them (Updike died of lung cancer in 2009). I have no doubt that, had he been born in 1530, Updike would have turned out perfectly formed sonnets, but, as a conscientious, orderly writer, perhaps would have been less fine a chronicler of near-mid-twenty-first century’s hectic mayhem. Still, the prose remains in its equipoise and aptitude, elevating the quotidian to the noble. “The shade of the brick pavement under the streetlamp was the purple of wine dregs,” a character in Couples observes on a late-night walk. “Piet noticed a small round bug scurrying along a crevice: a citizen out late, seen from a steeple. No voice to call him home. Motherless. Fatherless.” On Updikean turf, bugs and nocturnal wanderers alike are furnished a home

Jesse James’ Confederate Dream

Upon his return to western Missouri after the Civil War, Jesse James never looked forward, only back, mythologizing the robberies and murder he’d commit with his brother Frank and the Younger gang till his death, seventeen years later.

Art by Zoe Grieze

In Lawrence, there was a child with a wooden ball, tossing….  The march home, Frank, Cole, Bill, Arch, rinsing creek water over red over pebbles slipping. Squeezing one hand to stop the other trembling. These are facts. These are things. Things not learning resistance to change, knew it before. Never changed his name, always Jesse. Respectable stock, they were from. His father a minister. Prayed in church, family ate respectable food. Lima beans. Brisket. Now I lay me down to… Bushwhackers in the war, militia, nightriders ever after, the trains, banks made of stone, Federales. Inside the outside, cabins, trap doors, tramp camps. Clay County, MO, peering through cloth hood, no claustrophobia, no fear. Knights on horseback bringing order, honor, preserving Clay County. His ire up. Niggers. Nigger-lovers. Yankees. Missouri River coming down from Montana Territory, dividing the country east/west, survey lines, lines imposed by Federal law. He had to explain it, it would sound inexplicable. How you could be so strong. Have to be. Weakness overtakes you. Strength to be. It gathers, his fingers strained with lightning. 

On Broadway, readers read their newspapers in the street, street urchins hawking the Tribune, Eagle, men in the bars, odors of cheroot, belching lager, read his name. Jesse James. Jesse James. The name, his name, had church music in it. It floats up in deliverance.

There’s a song upon his death. Sung in theaters. 100 seats. 150. He’d never see a man suffer pain… stopped the Glendale train… Jesse James. He believes sometimes, indulgent faith, kneels on Baptist pew. Wonders at earthly end. At the instant of the hammer click, does he recall a burned-out apple tree, his father’s deacon tenor, arms praising, hands that sluiced the hemp? Scent of hay in his hair. The father set out, 1849, pilgrim like him. Overland through Panama, round Sacramento. World he’d never see. Robert James. Preaching. Cholera. Skin shriveled, eyes, lord, sinking. Shit all over the place. Lord’s servant in California. Buried in Sutter clay region, grave a careless stone. Long past day of Robert Ford, the assassin, Frank kept the uniform of Stone Mountain and Centralia folded up in a press, till more holes than gray cloth. Frank lives, lives to age of the Somme, autos, Nigger trumpet music Jesse’d never hear.

They pass down the trunks. Freightman eyes him from the car. Eyes like a foreigner’s. Takes only an instant. Not a decision—reflex. What’s a life? Always they beg. Begging’s like a piss. The body’s odd old doing. Makes his mouth go dry. Freightman could have had trace of nigger blood in him. Wipes his face, lips. Disdains the blotch on his cuff. Him and Frank. Cole. Jim. Bob. Their voices pestering the realm of Baptist heaven. Remember Black River, 74 maybe, hauling gold, greenbacks on a borrowed mule, mules not used to snow, nostrils spooked. Borrowed mules, eyes going witless. Remember. A stranger’s door answered favorably. Frank’s hat in hand. Shakespeare, Frank could quote around a hearth for entertainment: I am in this earthly world, where to do harm/Is often laudable, to do good sometime/ Accounted dangerous folly. Breakfast grits, fatback, think you’re looking through glass pane, this stranger’s vacant life, kids, poultry yard, wife’s hair a gray streak, mouth kindly. Morning they trade mules, peel off greenbacks. An understanding. Never saw no Jesse James. Maybe he’d of been a banker himself. Jesse. His mind for figures, sizing up value. Horses, real estate. Railroads. Sometimes you go down a road, don’t know you become it. Curiosity to himself sometimes, mirror image as he drags the edge along his neck, like across a moon telling fates and lies. Jesse James. Woodcut in papers of his jawline like a horizon, his slender lips, brows like a slender woman’s. A defect in his mouth his preacher father gave him. Jesse Woodson James. The James-Younger gang has terrified this slumbering Arkansas town with the cold-blooded murder of Townes Leonidas, a 24 year old bank teller, who recently became engaged to Helene Jonson, of Arkansas. The woodcut don’t look like him at all.

Illinois Central, St Louis through Chicago, Cedar Rapids. He reads schedules better than any man, envisions night trains pounding through the mesquite hills and sage, under towering skies. St Paul. Irony, says Frank. Jesse’s smiles flickers, goes out, stealthy. He says, Shut your fliggin’ mouth. Jesse James is a passenger, luggage at his feet. Nods at others, luggage at their feet. He’s Jesse James, he doesn’t say. Jesse James is Jesse James but not Jesse James. Everyone knows he’s two. Multiplying iterations— He becomes Jesse James by necessity. Takes resistance from mud, a stuffed pallet, air stiffens around him. Snap of a twig, horse’s guffaw— Pinkertons. Assassins. Highwaymen. Yankees. Kill him easy as sippin’ coffee. Looking to be famous, big reward. Death crowds him. Takes a seat. A boy, he’d sit in front of the hearth, watching dough rise from the flames, bread brown and warm in his mouth. His mother six feet tall loomed, cattle-voiced. Doesn’t mind lonesomeness, howl of the brush and swamps. Born to lonesomeness and self-conviction, aptitudes forestal oblivion, winter’s load upon your shoulders. On the train, he regards those who are not Jesse James. Stalwart faces. Faces of careless people riding trains. They do not know existence. What is man? Ever after, he’s the one hanging a picture, life a single irreducible moment, ever-after Jesse the man hanging the picture at 10:27 in the morning of a perfect April day. Look ok to you, Bob? he says. Did it ever look ok? He’d want to know.

To become a synonym. Tourists traipsing up to the cabin, talking to Frank and their mother, the picture books, nickelodeons, movies with trumpet and saxophone bands, Robert Ford touring the country, no longer Jesse James, the idea of himself is no longer his, it’s a metaphor that leaves you out of it. Could have heard that song, folksingers like yodelers, their voices keening, rollicking, everyone in the place clapping, and, my god, America’s land of free, and Jesse James going on and on.

/

Henry Antrim and the Invention of the Wild West

Like many a young man in the decades following the Civil War, Henry McCarty drifted westward. Eventually he found his way to the New Mexico and Arizona Territories, where he committed a series of murders in the Lincoln County Wars. Eventually Sheriff Pat Garett caught up with him at a ranch in Fort Sumner, New Mexico.

Art by Zoe Grieze

Billy the Kid takes the hard summer on his neck, kicking a shank of leather. He’s sixteen. Hard to say. Nineteen in the shadows. He’s got a way of getting outside himself, floating, then jerking himself back in, he drinks gin, schnapps in the bunkhouse, wakes up with a banging headache, a dust-funnel in his mouth. The core of the boy’s obscured even to him, he rides along the Mexican Blackbird Trail, the sun branding the back of his neck, not like on Lower East Side in forever shadow, he’d steal peaches, juices went down his fingers, wrists, he let the Goerck Street mutt lick it off. He, Henry McCarty, had to climb lightless tenement stairs every time, three flights, stink of the German longshoreman, larvae in the horseshit, the flies. Flies. Henry McCarty’s the boy. Billy the Kid is the man. In Indiana, in a boarding house with brother, mother, stepfather, one room, his mother worked laundry jobs before the Chinks came, their language like insect language, his mama’s voice like a river-hawk’s, the hew and cry, County Kerry where she was born. The stepfather could’ve been anyone, away, one shoe with a broken sole, tramping to the indoor privy they shared with the 1812 veteran down the hall. His shirt hung on the back of the caneback chair, there was no man in it.

Henry Antrim’s learning to ride. A brown mare with white sock on left hind foot. Natural pacer. He’s nineteen. He climbs over wire fences. Takes a rifle, picking prairie dogs out of their burrows. Their faces inquisitive. Not much to their insides really. Luminous stuff to toss away. He squints, lets go a long line of spit, catching a shining bug. Sometimes there’s the feeling, someone telling you wait a minute. Sun’s going to outlast the sky. Oceans drying, fish, whales. A feeling at the top of your mouth. Like you could do harm. He’s watched eyelids flutter, memories going out. Convulse. Your insides get used to it. But doesn’t like it. Seeing. The boy’s dreaming, of course, he goes for long dreams, stories loosely linked and things he’d never thought, oceans, ladies, a big hotel, wingback chair.

A woman’s body’s like liquid air. Lungs fill with her till you can’t breathe, then breathe more than you can. Her drawers taste of lye and ash. Smell perfumed. Doesn’t care she’s on her period. Feels close to something. Death takes you, it must, breath giving out to envious skies. There’s the voice of a man, whispering. Pat. Death. Could you. His brother wrote their mama died. His brother took the train from Silver City, never heard of him again. Mama in a bed, too late, he rides to unremember her Kerry songs. 

The photo of Billy aka William Bonney aka Henry McCarty aka Kid Antrim aka Billy the Kid. One photo vouchsafed. Buck teeth. Hat like a dented pipe. Eyes withholding. Homicide belonging to bad options. What makes Billy alive is the photo. One. In the scant years of his life, twenty-one, make that twenty-two, eighteen, identities mask identities, some essential arsenal of identity, some picked up along the way, tossed in the trash. Pat came in while he was almost fucking her. Her hair sloshing over his back. He tried growing a beard one time, his hair on his chin and lip soft as new petals. New Mexico rides a horse, undisciplined but loose in a saddle. New Mexico tips a hat. She kisses him rising. Pat has no badge, his shoes tell the tides.

The corpse’s propped up on a sidewalk. Billy’s. Henry’s. It recalls the East River, oyster whiff coming across the flats, gentlemen in hats. He’d take an apple and run. Once half a tuna from the Spanish monger that time. So far— Walking past the corpse, it’s like a dog you’d pet not tease. You could never. He’d get the way he did, you know. Now— Spoke Mexican, still New York in his mouth. Now— Cats coming along, licking the shoes and face at night. Someone stole Bill’s gun and holster, shoes for souvenirs, he’s defenseless now, sightless, cool, cool in sweetness of New Mexican gloaming.